2 Sam 16:23 “And the counsel of Ahithophel, which he counselled in those days, was as if a man had inquired at the oracle of God: so was all the counsel of Ahithophel both with David and with Absalom
2 Sam 15:12 “And Absalom sent for Ahithophel the Gilonite, David’s counsellor, from his city, even from Giloh, while he offered sacrifices. And the conspiracy was strong; for the people increased continually with
2 Samuel 23:34 gives a list of David’s mighty men and it mentions Eliam, the son of Ahithophel. So we find that Ahithophel had a son named Eliam.
2 Samuel 11:2 “David got up from his bed and walked around on the roof of the palace. From the roof he saw a woman bathing. The woman was very beautiful, and David sent someone to find out about her. The man said, “Isn’t this Bathsheba, the daughter of Eliam and the wife of Uriah the Hittite?”
Bathsheba the grand-daughter of Ahithophel was taken from her husband and her husband was killed by David. Ahithophel’s son, Elaim had a daughter, named Bathsheba. So this grudge: Bathsheba had been stolen by David and Uriah, the Hittite, her husband had been killed by David.
Now, Bathsheba probably undoubtedly forgave David. And maybe Elaim, Bathsheba’s father forgave David. And, certainly we know that God forgave David. But Ahithophel, the grandfather never let it go. He never forgave David for that sin. He carried a grudge.
2 Samuel 17:23 “When Ahithophel saw that his advice had not been followed he saddled his donkey and set out for his house in his hometown. He put his house in order and then hanged himself.
Forgiveness is not something we give to people when they come crawling to us on their knees. Forgiveness is not something we extend to people when they finally realize that they were wrong and we were right and they beg forgiveness. Forgiveness is an attitude toward people that we don’t hold grudges….Carrying a grudge destroys us.
Didn’t Ahithophel have a right to be offended? Absolutely!
• Didn’t David do an horrible thing? Absolutely!
• Didn’t Ahitophel have a right to be injured? Absolutely!
• Did he have a right to be unforgiving and to carry that bitterness through his whole life? No. Not if he was going to experience what God wants us to experience. God forgave David. Ahithophel apparently never did.